She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
