Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
