I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
