I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I could fuck to npr.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
