considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am one with the molecules
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
