i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Two words: nipple clamps
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