Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
