I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
