well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
