just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
