he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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