her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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