Farmville is her only friend.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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