yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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