how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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