For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I AM VODKA MAN
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
