Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize