Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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