Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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