Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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