Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
