Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
