I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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