i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
