Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
