Your mouth is God's brothel.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
