I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He better not be in your backpack
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
