Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
