It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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