Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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