Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
