I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
