then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
