I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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