Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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