Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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