took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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