so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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