my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
