Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
