It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
