last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
