Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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