My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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