Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
