FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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