I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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