I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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