I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.