I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...