things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot