My liver just broke up with me...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I skipped work to stalk him.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid