maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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