Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
