I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We are all done wearing pants today
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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