Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
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