I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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