PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
