Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Bring me that man meat
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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