I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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