i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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