Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
