some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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