Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
