so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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