Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
