I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
